February 2020 Words + Art Reading + Poem

0 | STRIPES: UNIFORM > LIFE STUDY: FEET

     I am reduced to nothing
     But plastic wrapped around my ankles
     Shuffling from one box on wheels
     to another box on pavement
     to eliminate – where does the waste
     of what they think I am
     go?

1 | CONCRETE: RIBBONS > SELF-PORTRAIT: BIRD’S EYE VIEW

     I lift and am in movement
     white ribbons uncurling in
     the interstate of my beauty
     in my dreaming state
     as the dance of cars carves my body

2 | GAUZE: VEIL > STILL LIFE IN SILENT WHITE

     But then I awake
     and I need a dress and veil
     to feel beautiful
     I will marry myself to a caged bird
     and still myself in silence
     simply to have the dress
     to feel that I exist and am seen

3 | PLAID: SACK DRESS > PORTRAIT OF ANGER IN BLACK

     Then I dress as a punching bag
     and the rage unloosed
     wraps me in seething snakes
     that heave and coil and submerge me
     in poison

4 | CONTEMPLATION: BANDANA > STILL LIFE: HANDS

     I vanquish the snakes
     and wrestle one to encircle my head,
     my serpent to tame
     under the restless forge of my hands in 
     anxious movement to still

5 | EYE CRAYON: PAIN > LIFE STUDY: EYEBROWS

     I draw in what I think I lack,
     missing the formidable being
     looking out of my eyes,
     willing me with flashing sparks
     that go unnoticed
     to realize I am not alone,
     I am enough in myself.

6 | BLACK SATIN: COMFORT > PILLOW TATTOOS

     I try to wrap myself in
     the comfort of flowers and soft things
     curves of pillows mirrored
     in tattooed hands filigreed with
     wedding henna
     with life passing me by while I wait –
     Am I weak, or am I strong?
     Am I implacable in my will because I 
     love who is not loved,
     or stubborn in the not loving of myself?

7 | STRIPES: UNIFORM > PORTRAIT OF ETERNITY

     The cumulous curves of comfort
     transform into black bars of strict decree,
     and you are never free –
     reduced to the uniform
     placed upon you
     that says you are nothing.

ENDNOTE > GRISAILLE: HIDDEN LANDSCAPE

     Behind the screen
     after many years,
     you encounter your beauty.
     This is not recorded,
     but it does not need to be,
     for it is yours,
     and yours
     alone.